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Post by faya27 on Jan 15, 2011 3:31:57 GMT -5
In my story of "Melody's Nanny," I'm planning to write a scene where Adella, Andrina, and Attina invited Ariel to meet them at their office building after work. When Ariel got there, she was introduced to Thor through her sisters. What Ariel didn't know was that her sisters were setting her up a date with Thor. She is flattered by Thor but not enough to be in love with him. While that was going on, Eric just happened to be walking out of the door when he saw Ariel talking to Thor. Seeing her being flattered by Thor, made Eric jealous. Is Eric the type of guy to get jealous or would he just be like 'oh, maybe she doesn't like me,' type? How jealous would Eric feel?
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Post by princeeric on Jan 15, 2011 12:33:54 GMT -5
eric is a pretty soft character but in the case of fanfics you have the power to make the characters however you want so dont worry too much. but i would think he be jelous and heartbroken.......... just my opinion.
also check out my fanfiction on this site and comment. im trying to put life back into this forum
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Post by faya27 on Jan 15, 2011 14:23:12 GMT -5
Feeling jealous and heartbroken does make sense, especially for Eric who is normally a soft character.
I also have another question. Earlier in my story, Ariel sees a picture of Eric and Vanessa at their wedding. Eric was smiling in the photo but Vanessa was frowning. I can't decide which reason to write. Here are the ideas I came up with:
1. She liked Eric only for his looks. She found out that she became pregnant with his child and had to marry him or else her mother would disown her. Additionally, Vanessa hated the fact that she can't go out and have fun because of the baby.
2. Vanessa loved Eric for his money (after Eric told her that he came from a rich family). Then at a wedding reception, she learned from one of her friends that Eric and his family lost their fortune the day before the wedding. Vanessa was shocked and now doesn't love Eric anymore. Even after having the baby, she lost interest in him.
Either way, Eric discovers her having an affair with someone (if I go with #1, it would be that she missed having fun. For #2, it would be because her lover is richer than Eric). Instead of divorcing her, Eric tells Vanessa that he wants to fix their marriage and pretend that her affair never happened. Vanessa told him no and left with her lover. Later, a cop visited Eric to tell him that Vanessa and her lover died in a car crash. All the heartbreak and tears convinced Eric to never fall in love ever again. What do you think?
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Post by Coral on Jan 24, 2011 14:10:55 GMT -5
One crucial question: How did Eric not see through Vanessa's character? If she's that shallow and married him just for that reason, that puts him in the category of Too Stupid To Live. Eric is not that shallow. If that's the reason you need to go with for why they were married, isn't it possible Eric's family could have insisted on the wedding as well to save the family's reputation?
Eric, being the person he is, would smile and try to make things look like it was a happy wedding/marriage. He could still vow never to get married again, not necessarily fall in love. But also realize that falling in love generally leads to marriage, which would ramp up the emotional conflict. He may be more afraid to take a chance on another woman because what if she leaves him too?
Simply saying that he wants to pretend the affair never happened doesn't ring true. You can't pretend things like that never happened. And first you need to address the problem of him not seeing her for the shallow person she is. You can't take the easy way out on this or the whole thing will collapse.
You need to address this before the other questions can even come into play.
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Post by fridamoonbeam on Jan 24, 2011 15:50:09 GMT -5
One crucial question: How did Eric not see through Vanessa's character? If she's that shallow and married him just for that reason, that puts him in the category of Too Stupid To Live. Eric is not that shallow. If that's the reason you need to go with for why they were married, isn't it possible Eric's family could have insisted on the wedding as well to save the family's reputation? Eric, being the person he is, would smile and try to make things look like it was a happy wedding/marriage. He could still vow never to get married again, not necessarily fall in love. But also realize that falling in love generally leads to marriage, which would ramp up the emotional conflict. He may be more afraid to take a chance on another woman because what if she leaves him too? Simply saying that he wants to pretend the affair never happened doesn't ring true. You can't pretend things like that never happened. And first you need to address the problem of him not seeing her for the shallow person she is. You can't take the easy way out on this or the whole thing will collapse. You need to address this before the other questions can even come into play. *Elle Woods voice* There! Right there! LOL, as you can see I agree with pretty much everything Rachel said. Also, how old was Eric when he married Nessa? That's a big part of it too. I kind of see him as a guy that would want to marry younger if he thought he found the right one. And makes him more naive in the ways of love (not THAT naive) and could have been more in love with the idea of Vanessa rather then the actual person. |
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Post by faya27 on Jan 25, 2011 3:11:56 GMT -5
Okay, you're right. Those scenarios are bad. I thought of having Eric marry Vanessa because he thought she was nice and didn't realize her true colors till much later. About pretending that the affair never happened, it was based on how my friend's parents got divorced. I guess I didn't realize that it wouldn't work well with Eric[s personality.
What if I wrote that Eric was forced to marry Vanessa? Maybe when Eric was 19, he met Vanessa. At first, he thought she the right one. Then, after going a date with her, he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. Somehow, his parents forced him to marry Vanessa or else they'd disown him.
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Post by Coral on Jan 27, 2011 14:30:54 GMT -5
That could work, but only if Eric having a child out of wedlock would hurt the family in a bad way. And you'd need to establish that Eric wouldn't hurt his parents for the world. Him being forced to marry her can backfire and make it appear that Eric has no will of his own and just does what he's told. Also not true to his character.
I'm deeply studying the craft of romance right now, so that's why I'm honing in on motivation and conflict here. Vanessa can be the bad woman, but you've got to have a rock solid reason for Eric marrying her anyway or he loses all credibility.
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Post by fridamoonbeam on Jan 27, 2011 16:24:11 GMT -5
*nods* And I think Vanessa would need to have redeeming qualities in her own right, or at least likeable ones that someone like Eric would even consider wanting to cultivate a relationship with to the point of having a child. Her charisma, her charm and the way she engages people. She could even love Eric in her own way but over all her selfishness could win out. Like how Gothel loved Rapunzel in her own way even
Also, I suggest watching the movie again ^^
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Post by faya27 on Jan 29, 2011 23:36:36 GMT -5
Okay I'll give Vanessa some likeable qualities. I'm thinking that Vanessa was not a bad woman but married Eric based on pity. Eric married her because he really liked her.
Eric lost his parents when he was eleven years old and doesn't get along with his other relatives because he was born out of wedlock. Grimsby and Carlotta (relatives from mother's side of the family) were the only relatives who loved him. He had no friends in middle school and high school because everyone saw him as a 'geek'. When he was 18, he met Vanessa at college. He accidentally dropped his books and glasses, and Vanessa was the only one who helped him. Vanessa was polite and friendly toward people, although sometimes, a little vain. Eric liked her because she was the only one who understands him and is his only companion. Vanessa, thought he was cute, but wasn't really in love with him. She took pity on him since he has no other friends. It was the same reason why Vanessa said yes when Eric proposed to her three years later. They got married and had Melody. When Melody was a year old, Eric discovered that Vanessa was having an affair with someone else. She revealed to him that she married him out of sympathy and Eric felt betrayed b/c he thought she really loved him. They decided on a divorce and a few days later, Eric found out from the police that Vanessa and her lover died in a car accident. Something like that. What do you think?
EDIT: Darn! I forgot! Vanessa married Eric also because there were no other guys available. They were either stupid or already taken and Eric was the only decent single guy.
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Post by fridamoonbeam on Jan 30, 2011 22:31:43 GMT -5
While I think that's an interesting plot you've come up with, I don't see it working for these characters personally  Eric is kind and really handsome, surely in school or some social setting some people would take a liking to him. While he's not a super extrovert like Naveen but he has an easy going way about him that's likeable in its own right even if it doesn't make him Mr. Popular. As for Vanessa; I have a really hard time picturing her marrying someone out of pity. She's more or an original character but she'd still need to have a lot of Ursula to her in some ways to be convincing. It just strikes me that she'd be too independent to want to just take whatever guy was available, not to mention she's confident, beautiful and smart. Not exactly problems for meeting men imho ^^ While I think its great you're trying so hard with characterization I think it'd be best if you were to watch the movie again on your own and get a fresh perspective of what your interpretation is |
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Post by Coral on Jan 31, 2011 19:44:29 GMT -5
This is better, but it still falls flat. It's out of character for both of them.
Eric's a little shy, but not awkward. And Vanessa would never do anything like that. She's Ursula inside, so she's power hungry and doesn't care who she hurts. I can see Eric as a geek. But not socially inept. He has a quiet magnetism and he's a powerful leader, which draws people to a person whether that person is outgoing or not.
Think on this. Eric is already beginning to see her for the shallow, manipulative person she really is. But he's still going out with her because he's drawn to her magnetic, powerful personality. It could even be an on-again, off-again type of thing They go too far one night, then break up for good not long after.
She comes back into his life after Melody is born and doesn't want anything to do with the baby. Eric, being the mature person he is, takes responsibility for his mistake and he doesn't want Melody to have the life that he had when he was rejected by his extended family. He would like for Vanessa to still be in Melody's life, but her party lifestyle doesn't go well with being a mom, so he does what's best for his daughter even though it hurts.
Vanessa can still die however you want her to, but this alleviates the out of character reactions. I don't see Vanessa as the type of woman who will marry just because everyone else does. She wants thing her way or not at all. Anybody who doesn't follow her lead eventually gets kicked out of her life. And if a baby gets in her way, baby has to go.
Eric still has a very hard time trusting Ariel because he doesn't want Melody to be hurt again. He would have felt Vanessa's rejection of their daughter very deeply, dredging up his own pain of being rejected by his family. Deep down he can't handle another rejection, but he may not realize that until the story is nearly over. And that's okay! And if Melody is hurt, he's hurt too.
When you have a child at the center of the story, she needs to be a big part of the reason why the hero and heroine are drawn to each other, but at the same time refuse to trust each other.
Does that help?
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Post by faya27 on Feb 2, 2011 2:20:48 GMT -5
Yes, that helps a lot. I'll edit my story to make it better. Can I use your idea?
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Post by Coral on Feb 2, 2011 22:27:47 GMT -5
Of course! Just be to sure to flesh it out and put your own spin on it.
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Post by faya27 on Feb 4, 2011 2:03:38 GMT -5
I'm sorry I have another question. I want to add a scene where Melody asks Eric about her mother but Eric feels uneasy about telling her about Vanessa. How do you think he would react? Would he just nervously change the subject or would he tell her that 'I'll tell you when you're older?' I can't picture Eric getting mad at Melody for asking that type of question.
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Post by Coral on Feb 7, 2011 14:38:02 GMT -5
You're right, he definitely wouldn't get mad.
Since she's five, most of it she wouldn't understand. At that age Eric would want to paint as positive a picture for Melody as he could, without actually lying to her if he could help it. I can see him saying that she's an angel now and she watches over Melody.
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Post by WickedElphie on Feb 7, 2011 15:38:57 GMT -5
I think the angel idea might be taking it a little too far, considering this is Vanessa we're talking about. Eric shouldn't be blunt about her negative qualities but portraying her as something she's not might end up being more hurtful down the line.
Maybe something more like "Mommy didn't think she could take care of you and love you the way you deserved so she thought it was better you stayed with Daddy."
Which is true. Vanessa didn't think she had the capacity/willingness to be a mother. That her motives were selfish and about her desires isn't something Melody needs to know at this age but it's phrased in a way that even the idea that Melody "deserves" love and attention is coming from Eric, not a false impression of Nessa.
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Post by Coral on Feb 7, 2011 16:56:22 GMT -5
Nicely put, Jess! That hadn't occurred to me.
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Post by faya27 on Feb 23, 2011 15:55:46 GMT -5
Should I add that Ariel also finds out about Eric's past with Vanessa or would that be too repetitive for the readers? This came to my mind because I was thinking back to how in Enchanted Robert told Giselle about his first wife so I'm wondering if I should have Ariel learn from Eric about Vanessa.
I edited most of the chapters on my story on fanfiction.net. (I took away a few things and fixed sentence structure). I will edit it here on this site, too.
How do I show that Eric has a hard time trusting Ariel because of Melody? So far, I've written that he sees her as good nanny material (her saving Melody from almost getting run over by a car led him to hire her) and despite Ariel's good intentions, he is still suspicious of what happens between her and Melody while he is at work. Do you have suggestions?
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Post by fridamoonbeam on Feb 23, 2011 20:26:54 GMT -5
Have you re-watched the movie recently to gain some ideas of how the characters would react to things? It would help if Ariel knew about his cynicism if she was interested in him and what was the cause. Remember, Ariel is a curious and caring girl. Why would Eric not trust Ariel with Melody? After what you described I don't see why he would have much of a reason to not trust Ariel especially if he ran a background check on her which is normal protocol for hiring a nanny. |
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Post by Coral on Feb 23, 2011 22:49:48 GMT -5
His reluctance to trust her would be more internal than external. On the outside he'd look like he was fine with it, I think. But inside he'd really be struggling. I don't think he'd be all that cynical about it. Maybe every once in awhile, but he's the kind of guy who's going to be so grateful he has Melody that he can forgive a lot.
I do think Ariel would need to find out about the whole thing from him. Once he realizes he's falling for her he won't feel comfortable not coming clean.
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